We go through a lot of first, first breath, first words, first steps, etc. I never realized at 38 I would have to begin a whole new set of firsts. First time back in McAllen and you're not there, first visit back to the gravel yard after your funeral, first day back at work... It's filled with first and yet also so many last. Last time I felt your hug, last time I received a birthday card from you, last look, last kiss, last laugh. I think the last will always be harder than the first but ultimately they are both filled with sadness. Maverick has one of his first today too, his first STAAR test. On the way to school I told him "you know your PawPaw would have called you either last night or this morning and told you your ready, just do what you teachers have taught you and you will be just fine" He said "I know". I also told him "PawPaw would say he's so proud of you" He said "I know". I guess the first will go on and those last will stay burned in my heart.
A memory to an old first. The first time I recall my daddy being such a fun guy. I held the water hose on a hot summer day, I'm guessing I was about 10. I must have been playing in it or something. Daddy says "I'm going to give you one chance to get me, but you have to wait till I count to 3" He begins counting 1, 2, 3 and me not putting two and two together I dropped the hose and ran after him to chase him on 3. As I tagged him he said "you had your chance to get me with the hose!" Finally it clicked, I missed my opportunity. We laughed. #liftingonlove
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